Art as a Diary

There's always something a little terrifying about painting a self portrait. And I don't just mean the naked ones. My naked face is much more telling...grey hair and laugh lines hint at a life filled with joy. But there are also the bags under my eyes that betray sadness and anxiety; heavy lidded eyes that can't sleep. For a full life does indeed have all of these moments and they are written on my skin.

 

2" x 2" ink on wooden block

 

 

I paint self portraits for many reasons. The most obvious one is that I always have a model available. But I also believe self portraits are very real self reflections. Over the years I have painted over a dozen self portraits. Put together in my journal they tell my story: I love my kids, being a mom is awesome, being a mom is hard work, sometimes I'm sad, I have a chubby butt, and I often need a hug.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I hope you have enjoyed a month of emotional self portraits and I also hope that it inspires you to try some of your own.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Be Soft

Be Soft

8" x 8" acrylic, ink and pencil crayon

Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.

- Kurt Vonnegut

Wordless Wednesday

After The Storm

 

"After The Storm"

8" x 8" pencil crayon, acrylic wash and ink

 

 

And there will come a time,
you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart,
but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see
what you find there,
With grace in your heart
and flowers in your hair.

                                             M&S

February: A Month of Emotional Self Portraits

 

 

I took a deep breath and

listened to the old brag

of my heart.

I am.

I am.

I am.

 

Sylvia Plath

Hug The Dog

I'm a hugger! Hugs can turn the worst of days around; can make a broken person feel whole again; the warmest of hugs sending a message straight through your heart and soul. And I would know. My kids hug me ALL day long and my dearest of friends and family make everything better. But did I forget to mention... hug your dog?

 

My awesome boys made this sign for me this past Christmas.

 

 

When I started sleeping with my dog, it was because she was cold. The winter fire hadn't been lit and she lay shivering in the dark corner of my bedroom. I myself laid awake with chronic insomnia and cold.  I lifted up the corner of my duvet and she slithered under the covers. We slept so soundly that night, huddling for warmth. Every morning my husband gets up at 4:30 to go to work. Hubby out, dog in. This is our morning ritual.

 

 

I'm With Virginia Woolf

I'm with Virginia Woolf when she said,

"Knitting is the saving of life".

 

 

(Hot off the knitting needles, I love this new hat.

If you look close you'll see the skulls!)

Although Virginia committed suicide at the age of 59, she spent more than 30 years knitting and (I hope) letting the practice of knitting soothe her soul. I learned to knit during a winter storm. The storm was unexpected and my husband was caught in the middle of it on his motorcycle. The anxiety and helplessness I felt were overwhelming. I felt compelled to grab an ancient ball of yarn and two bent knitting needles (both inherited from my grandmother), and a child's knitting book. By the end of the evening I knew what Virgina knew. I was soothed and artistically satiated. Knitting soon became one of the loves of my life; it's meditative quality making knitting downright therapeutic. Knit wear warms the body, knit gifts warm the heart and knit blankets encourage huddling and cuddling. But for me and Virgina, the very act of knitting can stave off depression.

 

(This painting of Virginia Woolf knitting was painted by her sister Vanessa Bell.)